How High Is the Bar Dad?

Have you ever watched a pole vaulting contest? The person runs with a pole, plants it into the ground and tries to launch themselves over a bar in the air. The bar is raised each time someone completes that height. The contest comes to an end when no one can make it over the last obtainable height. Sounds rather cool to me. Running and launching yourself into the air and trying to make it over an obstacle that is way taller than me and then landing into a big pillow on the other side with a sense of accomplishment. But are we as dads setting bars for our kids to jump over that are just to high?

I know in my life I have had obstacles to overcome. It takes some hard work, constant trying, and sever determination. All that that is expected in the life of an adult. But in our kids, are we setting a bar or obstacle to high for our kids to safely clear? Now I am not advocating for kids to have everything handed over to them and life be like a box of marshmallows…sweet, soft and fluffy! But I am saying that dads do present task, jobs, assignments that may be out of reach of their kids. Then we stand back and only criticize the attempts to get the task done and do not offer any advice.

Think back to when you kids started trying to walk. You could have sat there and just watched as they rolled around and tried to pull-up and get going only to fall. Instead, you took their hand and gave them something stable, solid, and secure to hold on to so they could find their balance as they stated walking. Later in life as they are given small task to complete, such as brushing teeth, you are needed to show them how. Over time the kids start understanding how to brush their own teeth and can do it on their own. As they grow the task or bar can be raised. However, you are needed to show them how to jump.

Dad we are needed to set bars, task, or obstacles in our kids life. This is how they learn to cope and adapt to the unknown things that will happen to them throughout life. But we can sometimes set the bar to high and make it unattainable to them. When this happens we bring discouragement to them.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won’t become discouraged. Colossians 3:21

We are not to discourage our kids, but to lift them up and teach them. Take time to give task, jobs, and set bars high. Then take the time to talk about way to conquer the task, job, or how to leap over the bar. Giving the proper instruction to your kids will not only let them learn but it will grow a relationship that will last throughout life.

Till next time…
I’m Just a Husband of a Homeschooling Mom,
Steve Blackston