Dad, let’s be real today. What are you carrying? What are you carrying internally? What are you carrying emotionally? What are you carrying mentally? What is it that has you trying to be the big man and tote the weight on your shoulders all by yourself? I know your doing it, because so am I; and if we are not careful, it will kill us!
What Are You Carrying Dad?
“Hello, my name is Steve, and I try to be a people pleaser.”
If I was to walk into a hard head anonymous therapy session, that would be how I would have to introduce myself when it came my turn. I have the desire and want within me to see people happy and to try and solve their problems and meet their needs. People come to me with all sorts of things and I do what I can to help them. Many times this requires a sacrifice to my family time so the other person is taken care of. I sit back and think “My family knows what I am doing. They understand. They know the person needs help and I am willing to help if I can.” However, what they understand is that hubby / daddy is not there for them also. They feel that others are more important than they are. Is that what any of us want our loved ones to feel? Nope! It’s not.
Emotions are something that can eat away at you and your relationship with your family as well. Men think on a level of logic with 98% of what we do. Emotions are the remaining 2% of our being that we suppress as much as possible. Yet that 2% can do a lot of damage when we hold back from our love ones. When was the last time that you shared your emotions with your wife? Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not going all soft here or swapping teams. I am being honest and truthful with the fact that men need to share their thoughts and emotions with their wife. We need to share with our help meet. You know that person that your joined together in holy matrimony. Yeah, the one you gave a ring to and she to you. That person needs to know where you are emotionally.
When it comes to mental baggage, I keep two or three bags packed at all times. I have my job bag packed. I have my children’s pastor bag packed. I have my husband bag packed. I have my daddy bag packed. Oh yeah, my handyman, yard man, mechanic and what-ever-else is needed to be done bag packed as well. Most men will have many thoughts running constantly in our heads. Contrary to popular belief, we multi-task as well as any woman. We just don’t brag about it. Many times as I am driving my wife will ask me what I am thinking and of course the typical guy response is “Nothing“. But in truth, we are unraveling the mysteries of the universe. That and “Why the starter is not working on the lawnmower”… “How did I loose the throttle washer on the weed trimmer”…”When can I finish vacuuming the pool?”… “What was it I needed for children’s church this week”…and “What was it I was doing with the kids this weekend? Every now and then guys, we need to shut it down and let it go. And not like the Disney song that is now stuck in my head!
Guys if we are not careful, we will let all of these things rob us of what we love the most. Our family! When retirement comes, the kids are gone, and the times you could have had with the wife have slipped away, will any of the extra bags that you carried around have really been worth it? No they will not. So guys share with your family your thoughts and feelings. Let them see the side that we all hide and act like we don’t have.
Till next time…
I’m just a Husband of a Homeschooling Mom
Steve Blackston