Teach Them Diligently Convention 2018
Skip to content

What Happened to Modesty?

When has be become acceptable to only wear bra and panties when you are going to the pool, lake, river, or ocean; however, you have to put on more clothes to go into a place of business? I am not saying that a lady should not be proud of the way she looks.

Dads, I come to you today about an issue that I will am facing in my household now. An issue that I thought would not have to face for another 6 to 7 years. I am referring to my daughter, who is currently 5, asking the question about swim wear.

Swimwear of days gone by...
Swimwear of days gone by…

We recently went to White Water in Atlanta. This is a branch of Six Flags theme parks that is a water park where waterslide, a lazy river and play areas for kids abound. As we are walking in the water park my boys, ages 10 and 11, are doing all they can not to stare. Not with the desire of looking at the girls, but feeling sorry for the girls in thinking that they do not know any better than to wear swimwear like they are wearing. Then my wife gets the question of all questions from my daughter. “Momma, why are all of these girls walking around in their bra and panties?” Dads, I never thought of it that way, but why are they?

The eyes of kids have no filters or blinders. They simply see what is presented to them. My daughter knows that it is not proper to go through the house in her underwear. She is being taught to be modest in her clothing choices. Now some think that a child should have the total free will and rights to choose their own way in life without the help or discernment of the parents. In this house, it does not work that way. What about yours?

Men, the things that I saw there broke my heart. From young girls to teenagers to young ladies and beyond that had their bodies on display for all to look upon. Now don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love to see my wife’s body! But it is that, it’s MY WIFE’S body. I don’t want to see YOUR WIFE’S body or YOUR DAUGHTER’S body. That belongs to you and her future husband. So with that statement or two out of the way, I come back to my question, “What happened to modesty?”

This is a reflection on the relationship between dads and their daughter. Yes, the mom is a key player in helping your daughters dress and what the meaning of modesty and beauty is. But dad, your role for both the wife and daughter is indispensable, both in celebrating what they look like and telling them when the way they dress means what they don’t think it means. Men, you know exactly what I mean! What we need here is courage. Don’t be afraid to speak up and tell them. This is your wife and daughter, and they must hear from you what they are saying to men with their clothes.

When has it become acceptable to only wear bra and panties when you are going to the pool, lake, river, or ocean? Over the years I have never looked at it like that, yet through the eyes of a 5 year old, that is what it is. I am not saying that a lady should not be proud of the way she looks. I am saying that I care enough about my wife to tell her and to make sure that her body is for my eyes only. I also care enough for my future son-in-law to make every attempt that the young lady that he marries is a virtuous and modest person that has saved her body only for him and not shown it to every person.

So again, I ask: “Do you care what they show?” Leave your comments below and voice your opinion on this topic, just keep it clean.

Till next time…
I’m just a Husband of a Homeschooling Mom,
Steve Blackston

15 thoughts on “What Happened to Modesty?

  1. Steph P says:

    I’d say this is never appropriate, in public or in private. It’s not necessary and is just asking for trouble.

    Reply
  2. Anonymous says:

    i find it extremely mortifying for a woman to run around with her privates in full view of others eyes, one should cover up and you should not fault the poor person that is trying to turn their eyes away. but can’t help but see it’s like looking at a traffic accident , you don’t want to see it but it is there for all the world to see and it is hard for a person to avert their eyes especially if you were not planning on running into someone being a immoral in their dress.

    Reply
    • V says:

      Yes, you can help it, but you probably don’t really want to. Stop making excuses and take out the plank in your eye….

      Reply
  3. Jesse Belvedere says:

    Honey I am just a young woman looking at your post after searching “modest swimwear for waterparks”. I am impressed by your post and I’m also proud to say I am one of Jehovah’s Witnesses looking intently to preserve my body for my future husband.
    I appreciate your points you made even though they were made directing to fathers. Keep your heart’s view and hopefully that reflects your interest in the Bible (not familiar with your posts) and I encourage you to visit jw.org (:
    Have a great one, Dear

    Jessa

    Reply
  4. Jacqui says:

    I stumbled upon this blog post in researching whatever happened to modesty. I have two little boys, 6 & 8, and let me tell you THEY NOTICE when girls and women are scantily clad.
    It’s not in any lustful way, but they somehow sense it as not quite what should be. I have worked with youth, and many of our young women like to wear bikinis. Their intent is usually pure. They just want to fit in and get a tan. This is where parents, I think, are dropping the ball. I remember as a young lady not understanding why my dad wouldn’t allow me to wear a bikini or anything that showed too much of my body. As an adult, I now understand he was protecting me. I respect and appreciate him so much for that. Teenagers don’t often have the wisdom to understand what their outfit choices are really saying to the opposite sex. Part of our responsibility as parents is to guide them. Whether or not we like it, men are wired to be visually stimulated. Whether they like it or not, seeing women dressed in so little is provocative. We, as parents, need to be mindful of that. I, as a boy mom, am trying to teach my boys modesty and not to look at women lustfully, but honesty, it is a battle for boys to fight their biological makeup in that way. I hate to think of the internal and spiritual battles they will face to remain pure in this society, and I pray that God has a wife for them who was raised to be modest and pure.

    Reply
    • The Husband of a Homeschooling Mom says:

      Well said Jacqui. It is a parental responsibility that so many do just leave up to a growing and learning child who does not understand what they are doing yet.

      Reply
      • V says:

        What do you say to the parents who allow their sons to run around in public shirtless, with their pants sagging off their behinds and drawers exposed? Funny that you only seem to notice scantily clad women….guess the men aren’t as much fun to watch?

        Reply
  5. Dave Thornton says:

    I’ve been struggling as a Dad in California with this same issue with my daughters and wife.

    We’re seriously looking into surf gear and also (don’t laugh as it sounds hilarious): “Burkini” (Burka meets Bikini) – it’s actually modest swim gear, protects from sun and is great in a lot of ways.

    Reply
    • The Husband of a Homeschooling Mom says:

      Dave I have never heard of the Burkini until today. I will agree with you on them being on the modest side! I will be praying for you and your family as you work your way through this issue.

      Reply
    • V says:

      I assume you will wear a shirt at all times in public, then, including on the beach? Fair’s fair….

      Reply
  6. Shelley says:

    I believe I am with you on this issue, but my question is one of practicality. What *should* my daughter and I wear for water sports and activities? A one piece swimsuit is not that much more modest, and often not at all, especially with the figures she and I have. We settled on tankinis that have shorts for the bottom and are the most modest we can find. What I really want to get is rash guard shirts and swim shorts, but I can’t find them in our price range. So I’m asking your opinion as a godly husband and father. What *is* appropriate?

    Reply
    • The Husband of a Homeschooling Mom says:

      Shelley,
      Modesty is in the eye of the beholder. However, if you are looking for a rash guard shirt, Wal-Mart, Kohl’s, Academy Sports and Land’s End will have them at decent prices (with coupon). My wife recently had to get another swimsuit (thanks to Trim Healthy Mama) and she got a convertible swim shirt from Coolibar.com. This gives a swimsuit with the option of sleeves. Her bottom is a pair of shorts with a skirt to match the top.

      Your husband should be used as a guide for you and your daughter. However if he is not available at the time before you leave the house, ask yourself a simple question. “Is what I am wearing something that would please God?” If you question that, then maybe you should change you attire. Here are a few things that you can look and see if you find what you are looking for. Also, just for fun, there is also a video about the evolution of the Bikini, which is worth the time.

      The Skirted Swimmer
      Fresh Modesty
      Coolibar.com Convertible Swimwear

      Evolution of the Bikini

      I hope that this will help you and if you have more comments or questions, send them on!

      Steve
      A Husband of a Homeschooling Mom

      Reply
  7. Melody Jestin says:

    what men think when they look is in their minds and no one else, so maybe the question should be the men should be concerned what they are thinking and not what other people are wearing!

    Reply
    • The Husband of a Homeschooling Mom says:

      Melody,

      In one sense you are correct! For years women have had the issue thrown at them as their fault. However, it is a two way street to be fair. Men may lust after or desire a woman in a bikini just as much as a woman in two size larger than necessary sweats. But, if the woman is dressing in a way to draw attention to herself, then it becomes an issue. In my opinion.

      Steve
      A Husband of a Homeschooling Mom

      Reply

You know that you want to say it....

%d bloggers like this: